'Letting Go'!!!

I am laughing at myself. And I invite one and all to do so! I have always been able to laugh at myself, my stupidity and find it quite okay if people also find what I do funny, stupid or whatever is the appropriate adjective to use here (i cant think of any) and laugh along with me. maybe I wouldn't be so comfortable if people laugh 'at' me...Hmm..eeeehh thats a scary thought! But I know thats not gonna happen because I think I pretty much have control over that.

Now, What I dont have control over will take up one full page and no I don't want to write about that.

My Blog was named 'Memory's Eye' as I was writing about things that have happened in the past. Every moment becomes the past the very next moment...so as I am writing this in the present it keeps becoming the past so well even if I write about anything in the present..as I am doing now...just wrting whatever comes to my mind im keeping true to my blogs name and purpose!! Yay....!! Talk about having control by default...Sounds great...and confusing I guess..!

Today, has been, well transitional! I am suddenly realizing that I have taken my life and relationships a wee bit more seriously than I should've. I know this because I am not liking this!!I am recalling me when I was younger. All that comes to mind is 'I was carefree'. I had no attachments. And I was so amazing back then!! I want that back! I see that what i wrote about too has changed so much. What am I writing about today?? Im not writing....im just venting my feelings which by the way is a lot...I think I feel too much these days!!

So, thats it...thats all...I can take control of this. I am just letting myself go (umm, i just like the sound of it!)...adding more sense to that-I will be what i like being. It's just me now. Wait, not in the selfish way! It is in fact for the people in my life, who whether they know it or not are so damn special and I can't help that. For those people who will be happy if I become a little laid back and not hyperventilate about things. I can just help myself! Can't force anyone else to change or not be affected by my varying moods and words.....

Thats why I am laughing, because thats what makes me happy and carefree for starters!

Truly,

A Wanderer ( who went 'off track' for a bit!)

Nonuuuu!!

Wow! It's been quite a while....!

I sat down with a pen in hand...yes, I still prefer writing first and then typing it out if I have to, hoping that words will flow and the blank notebook page will fill up. But alas, the note book page remains blank as I take to the mobile phone, frustrated with my 'blank' mind, and in a furious need for some thoughts and some words that might help fill the 'blankness'. Whew! Sometimes life does become just 'blank'!!

What?!Right there...yep...three lines up...yep..right there..! 'Take to the mobile phone'?? Is that where i was looking for inspiration to write? I have no more to say....!

Enter Neo(alias Nonu)...back from his outing,bounding into the room and straight on the messy bed of mine. My face is his focus and soon we are in a game of rough and tumble play. The bed is even messier. His quota of play with me over he finds his bone and begins his work on it. Chewing it with great concentration and passion.

Watching him is a delight. Just watching him....the stress from my hectic day evaporates, a warm feeling fills me. He lets you watch him, he lets you hold the bone for him, he lets you hug him, he lets you pull his cheeks..umm..you know what I mean! All this without a sign of irritation! Look at him now...sprawled over the blanket (why does it have to be a 'blanket'!) his head hanging from the edge of the bed and a part of his loose skin, that would be his extended lips folded inwards revealing one of his canines. He does not realize he's looking funny! He does not act stupid. He is all that!

Blank it!!(umm..an exclamation of joy!) (Yeah all this happens when I don't write for long periods...! Kindly bear with my languid outbursts...)

Today is a Holiday

Went to office, past the major traffic, thinking I'm running late. Reached the office and its locked!?? Wait I'm confused, its my second day at work. Has the office closed down? Have they all gone off on a project without informing me? Umm, No! I was late....maybe everyone else is stuck in the jam. Hmm, let's just wait a while till somebody shows up. Should I call ma'am? Should I ask the shopkeeper what happened? I think I should just call ma'am. And somebody does show up. The office peon. There, he's late too and has probably got the keys to the office. Yay! No one will know I was late! He comes up to me and asks- you didn't get the message? It's a holiday today....followed by the reason, an unfortunate reason. But the office is not closing down. Thank you dear God. "So, what? I go back?" I just wanted to confirm. I was happy.

The last time something like this happened was back in school. I hated going to school. Everyday my mom and aunt had to drag me out of bed, make me eat my breakfast which I deliberately did as slowly as I could, and I would search for signs of impending stomach aches and nausea. If I felt even a wee bit of either of the two I would magnify it many fold and act. Yes, I did. So, imagine after all the effort that goes into trying to avoid school, you reach school and find a blackboard saying "Today is a Holiday". Ten exclamation marks immediately get attached to the notice even if they don't exist. the Word 'Holiday' itself has an exclamation of its own...if you know what i mean. In a place like Manipur, it happened quite frequently, the rains (yes, after reaching school in the rainy mess!), strikes, bandhs (very common here), or some other reason, which we never bothered to find out. It was pure exaltation for me! A content heart and mind, as if a battle had been won, going back from school at a time when I would probably have been studying about early man in the first period.

Today of course, was different. It was not like I did not want to go to work. But I love surprise holidays!

As I walked back, the weather just perfect in making the feeling sink in and even more enjoyable, I remembered the days back in school and I am left with a smile and a very familiar feeling of contentment!

Reaction....! Breathe.......

People/humans, the animal that has progressed leaps and bounds are...well numerous. I think this species too has to be furthur categorised into subtypes...according to the level of advancement,one of the categories should be-emotional sensibilities towards other 'animals'. Those who don't meet the criteria should be placed, as an identity, 'insensitive and cruel to Animals'. And to what end? Labelling, yes I wouldn't mind 'labelling' them as that. Secondly, in order to keep them in check there would be laws made, and therapy made a necessity!!!

I read in the newspaper today that dogs, the expensive and rare breeds are being abandoned by their owners. Why? beacause they can no longer take care of them, or because the pet has developed some disease. Why did they buy it in the first place?? Social Status!!! Freakin' rubbish and inasnity and utter Stupidity..yes with a capital S!!!! These people have to come in that category..they need therapy, medication...whatever!

As is evident, I am angry. And this is an outburst.

These breeds cannot survive in the streets or even in shelters...as the newspaper reports. I believe they understand and feel too. If they did not, then why would our pets reflect our low and happy moods( dog owners will understand what I mean).

On the other hand, again, there are people in the opposite category....and they have made life better for these abandoned beings. Praise and blessings to them.

Here, ive talked about dogs, but the recent revelation about the sad state of tigers is another issue. I think every animal faces some problem and most of the cause is us, the humans. And the afore mentioned category of people definitely is the microcause!
Who are we calling 'Dogs'...we should rather say 'such a human'!!

Mickey!

A Hillstation outside my Window...

The cold is different today. From my second floor flat, Ican see a few trees peeking thorugh the curtain that the fog has formed. I am warm in my bed,under my blanket, a muffler to protect my neck and a decently warm sweater. My face is cold,and feels fresh from it, a small wet patch beneath the nose..or atleast it feels wet. The friendly sun is missing today, on a holiday I suppose, he said so a few days back...
Its slient and calm, with a few vehicular sounds that are almost familiar, interrupting the perfect silence. It seems the usually gregarious and 'walking' people prefer the warmth of the indoors today. What must the two funnily irritating children from the ground floor doing today...indoors.. and I am evidently glad about their positioning today...I peep down at the empty tree lined road and it is darker...wet...wet! It drizzled and I dint get to know....as if to prove it I hear faint light drops on the window pane..or was it my mind..my mind:interestingly quite imaginative....
Being a holiday helps the feeling and mood. No parents at home(for the time being) to put me back into reality helps furthur!
Is this Delhi that I know? Is this A Vihar that I know? Sitting in my bed it is neither.
I am looking at a hillstation through my bedside window.

Great "Unexpectations"

Its the new year...Happy New Year 2010(umm...ok isn't it apparently 2010..anyway we have to mention the year right) to all of you!
Last night was unexpected. Firstly, I never thought that we would end up at DSOI (thanks to Ish!) instead of TOI...( etc etc Officers Institute). I never thought I would enjoy myself, I never thought I would take my fondness for black to the extent of wearing a black dress, stockings,shoes,coat, and nail paint. And I never thought I would get to see so many strikingly handsome men in Delhi. So, the 'entry' into the new year 2010(! i like this) was good..thanks to the company too..let me just make a personal comment here:Thank you R and R...It was fun being with you guys.
Good Bye Old year 2009(im infact loving this)..which began with a change in residence, a breakup..hmm,becoming a post grad, a rather interesting online buddy(unexpected), my first job, a foreign tour, a now there now not relationship(unexpected too), a crazy time at the afore mentioned residence(including beer and more of it..and the end of it too..well almost)(unex...!),my first blind date(not at all expected..!),three dear friends leaving delhi,yet another change of residence and lots of new and variety of friends...and I am left smiling. Lights fade out....and curtains down.....
Woke up to a string of door knocks..when I realised that they were actually my message alert tone. Sleepy and tired from last night I replied and sent the same to other friends...wishing for the best but with no idea how this new year 2010( im crazy about this now), is going to shape up!
Curious and excited, uncertain and hopeful, I'll just 'wait and watch' I guess (H...your words still remain with me and means a lot!)
Welcome New Year 2010!!!